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Original Front page design from a tutorial in the Byline magazine, Issue 8, 2016.

As described by Jeremy Griffin, executive editor of The Times.  Disclaimer - Published in Scotland

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The Church of the Great Bare

The First Book of Augustus

And so it came to pass that a great pestilence appeared upon the land.

Isaiah 20:3 “at that time the LORD spoke through Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, "Go and loosen the sackcloth from your hips and take your shoes off your feet." And he did so, going naked and barefoot. And the LORD said, "Even as My servant Isaiah has gone naked and barefoot three years as a sign and token against Egypt and Cush, so the king of Assyria will lead away the captives of Egypt and the exiles of Cush, young and old, naked and barefoot with buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt.…”

Be Naked - Be Happy

One of the fundamental tenets of the Church of the Great Bare is that an adherent can worship / pray to / commune with any god or spirit or presence that he or she wishes to.

Personally, I am a pantheist and I am happy to commune with the spirits of animals, trees, plants, stones, celestial bodies – anything. There is an ash tree in a nearby nature reserve that I have an ongoing relationship with. This morning at 4:30am I had a mind to go to see this tree. I also had a strong feeling that it would be best if I made my way there totally naked. So I did.

I had a very positive experience with my tree. I felt a great strength come from him to me, for which I am very thankful. He also gave me an insight into how I might be able to control my anxiety and stress by becoming a tree myself. I know a yoga pose call The Tree and my tree says that if I adopt it it will help me to be steady and strong like a tree.

So after this I felt so good. It had gone so well. Sometimes when I see my tree there is nothing going on, no connection. This time, when I went there naked, it was a very powerful connection.The lesson I take from this is that I have to be naked to commune with the spirits and trees. Another lesson is that being naked, even on a frosty March morning, makes me feel happy and wonderful.

I wanted to spread this message to other people so I went for a little run up the main road, before returning home through the park (it was freezing and I don’t want hypothermia) What a joyful and wondrous morning experience.

Be naked. Be happy.

Know Thyself

Apollo said: Know Thyself.

In order to know what you are you need to strip away that which you are not (including your clothes) before you can reveal that which you are. So without clothes I know: This is me, all of me and only me.

I am open. I am free. I am innocent, peaceful and happy.

Archimedes - Hero

Archimedes is probably the best known and celebrated engineer, inventor and philosopher from Ancient times. He invented war machines and also the Archimedes screw for moving water. But he is best known for solving the problem of the King’s crown.

King Hiero of Syracuse commissioned a new crown and gave the smith gold for the task. The king was concerned, once he had the crown, that the smith had substituted some of the gold for something else and kept some of the gold for himself. He asked Archimedes to ascertain the purity of the crown. Archimedes knew the weight of the crown but he needed to know the volume to determine its density, but how to find out the volume of a shape as complex as an elaborate crown? While sitting in his bath Archimedes realised that a body (his) lowered into a bath of water causes the water level to rise the same as the volume of the body. All he had to do was lower the crown into water.

This revelation was such a delight that he leapt out of the bath and ran down the road naked, shouting ‘Eureka’ which means ‘I have found it’.

Sometimes I get Despondent

Sometimes I get despondent with our world and the way that it is and is going.

All I want to do is to live my life the way I choose. All I want to do is to take my clothes off and enjoy life 100% instead of filtered through cotton and polyester.

I don’t expect anyone to adapt premises for me. I don’t expect anyone to spend money for me. I don’t expect anyone to suffer because of me.

And yet, when I try to do what I harmlessly want to do I am met by opprobrium, criticism and sometimes arrest. I am harmless. I am leaving you alone. Leave me alone. End off.

Lady Godiva - Hero

Lady Godiva was the 11th Century wife of Leofric, who was Lord over Coventry. She was appalled at the high rate of tax that he imposed on the citizens and she told him to reduce the burden or she would ride naked through Coventry. He did not do so, and so she got on her horse and rode naked through the city.

Coventry has a statue of her in the centre of the city, and she has been a popular figure for artists.She is a hero of the Church of the Great Bare, not just for appearing nude, but also for following up on her words and doing exactly what she said she would do, a most important virtue.

Morning Ritual

Every morning (well, nearly every morning), the first thing I do when I get out of bed is to go outside and perform a little ritual. It helps to wake me up, bring me out of dreams and into reality.

It involves introducing myself to the Sun, who I am pleased to see each morning (although sometimes I’m out in the garden before he has appeared above the horizon), and then I lie on the ground and connect with earth.

Of course I am naked when I do this. I am myself, just myself. Newly woken, newly born on a new morning. And when you are born you are naked.

This morning the sun had not risen, but the sky was clear and turning blue as dawn approached. The air was cold and the grass was frozen. I rushed back inside pretty quickly.

A New Religion

I have found peace and happiness. A place of stillness and invulnerability to pressure.

All of this seems to come easily when I spend time naked.

And I am a part of nature. I love being a part of nature.

I want to be happy.

So I’m going to form a religion whose basis is being naked.

If anyone wants to follow or join – they can.